Ingredients to Anal Play: The beginning
I have been getting quite a few questions lately regarding Anal play. So, I thought I would address those here in the next several blogs. To begin with, Anal Play includes touching, massaging, kissing, toys and penetration. Anal sex has seen a roller coaster of labels throughout the years. It has been demonized, celebrated, hidden away, and is now making a resurgence. You could almost say that Anal Play is the new black. To take a poke at a new hit series (pun intended). There are still a lot of mysteries around anal play because we don’t talk about everything involved. For some people, this is deeply personal area and is a more intimate act than some other sexual encounters. I do know that most heterosexual women find it to be more intimate than vaginal sex.
Let’s talk about the beginning. Whether you are a little hesitant or ready to dive right in, you should understand the body a little more. The anus or rectum is a wonderful creation. You have two sphincter muscles, those are the ring-like structures within the first 3 inches of the rectum, rich nerve endings and a very sensitive pucker or bum hole. If you are planning on letting a partner in there, then get to know yourself first. The next time you are in the shower or if you are masturbating, try slipping a lubed up finger in there. If you are in the shower, I suggest you use a silicone based lube so it doesn’t wash away so easily. Trying new things on yourself the first time makes it easier than with the stress of a partner trying to do it. You are more relaxed and can focus on what feels good. remember that not all anal play involves penetration. Try rubbing around the area, maybe doing small circles with a lubed finger around the bum hole, putting a little pressure but not sliding in at first.
Now, as you slide the tip of your lubed finger in slowly, you should notice the feeling of your muscles contracting and relaxing as you become more comfortable. even if you plan on being the top, this is a way to better understand what your partner is feeling to some degree.
Breathing is very important in helping you relax. You can rather easily control the outer sphincter muscle in the same way you are able to relax or contract the other muscles in your body through your central nervous system. You can help your inner sphincter relax through your breathing because it is controlled by the autonomic nervous system. The same way relaxation techniques and deep breathing help you slow your heart rate, it can help you relax that inner sphincter muscle which can make anal play even more enjoyable. Try this little exercise the next time you are in the shower: Start with some rhythmic slow breathing while relaxing and contracting your sphincter muscle, after a few minutes when you are ready, slip a lubed finger inside and see if you notice the changes in your muscle tension compared to your breathing.
Quite a few people have reported a negative experience from anal sex due to going too fast and attempting penetration before they are relaxed and ready. It’s not a race to shove it all in and taking incremental steps can lead to more passionate connections and mind-blowing orgasms. When you are highly aroused, this can help you relax and make the experience even more gratifying. Foreplay works wonders for this, so don’t just say hello and then shove it in, work up to it. It’ll be more pleasurable for both of you in the end.
Make sure you use good lube, since the anus does not lubricate itself like other orifices in the body. I would suggest silicone lube for the shower since they don’t wash away easily in the water. Since they can stain sheets, I would suggest a water-based lube outside of any wet areas like a steam room or shower area. With anal play, most people like silicone lube because they last longer than water-based, which can dry out easily from the body heat causing the water to evaporate.
In the next blog, we will talk about preparation and control.
Til next time,
Daddy Knows Best!